THOUGHTS AFTER GRADUATION AND FEAR OF GROWING UP
I am continuously staring at my photographs from the mountains and it’s making me feel nostalgic of the times when I was more of a free bird, when meeting people on the roads and making connections taught me more about life than the textbooks.
-My literature professor always use to say - ‘never unpack your backpack from your last trip’ and I followed the saying.
There were times when I could have just picked up the Rucksack, booked a general train ticket (Budget travelling) and left home without any worries, crazy enough for the Mountains,
-Life changed in a span of seconds and now I could only think of building a life to nurture my dreams and ambitions. I am sitting in my balcony for over 4 hours straight, thinking about the perpetual life theory after graduating just hours ago.
Two years of solo travelling taught me enough about life whether it is sustaining a minimal lifestyle in order to plan the next trip or is about buying my favorite shoes from Decathlon-
Having grown up in a small town with a family of five , I have seen clear and abstract manifestations about life, nobody was unsure about their career, they visualized themselves as aspiring contestants in their respective fields and it made me feel different and demure.
Till today, If you ask me what makes me different and unique about the thoughts I have for life- I may have the clear answer to it,
When everyone was solving differential equations, I was the one hiding a Jane Austen book under my table and reading it silently, lost in all those intellectual words, watching ‘Into the wilds’ a 100 times and getting lost in Alaska, increasing my insanity for mountains day by day.
I realized our greatest fear lies in the place when we are not ready to accept who we are and drain out the energy to be someone we don’t want to be —
-I very vividly remember the day when we had to fill a form about the subject choices in 11th grade, my subconscious mind knew that I can never do Mathematics, but the kid in me wanted to be around her best friends, later I realized that I am not fitting into this world and lost the battle.
It took me years to settle down and start a journey that made me confident and strong enough to realize my own worth.
My greatest strength : trust I had within myself, people I have in my life , the books I read, supporting family — little did I know will impact my life in ways,
Of course, the experiences were absolute blessing in disguise — Last year taught me that it is okay to not rush sometimes and facilitate your own growth.
As I look ahead the mountains of life, I knew it would be a daunting fear to reach the peak and I do not monitor the uncertainty, to be honest —
Its just I am ready to prosper the challenges ahead with the same confidence I am carrying all over these years and side kick the fear of growing up.
For now, I will continue sitting in my beautiful balcony surrounded by greens, staring at the blue-black rainy sky and reading my favorite book with a cup of coffee — after all- “ Life is meant for small moments of joyful events to live”.
#graduation #horizonshadeblogs #growth
